My life is a Polaroid

Title: My life is a Polaroid

2009, was one the best years on my life. I entered the last couple of months in my high school career. I went to prom, whit a lovely date. Made friendships that I never want to be without. I even managed to graduate high school with a whooping 3.89 GPA. I received all my acceptance letters in 2009, cried and completed the never ending fafsa. Around that time things were becoming real, I knew where I was going to be attending during the fall of 2009, and fortunately I was and still am happy about my decision.
2009, was one the worst years of my life. I finished high school, I made new friends, I went to prom, I graduated, I filled out long drawn out papers about my family history and income and entered the b1st semester of college.
2009 was on the worst years of my life; everything I did reminded me that all these moments were not mine. I was only allowed these moments because of one man. My dad. He was not here to share it with me. Some of the most important moments in my life, become some of my saddest. Sad because I didn’t know if I could or should celebrate. Sad because the only person I wanted was no-where in sight.





1990-1991:

Bunmi met Charles
Bunmi and Charles became husband & wife
Mommy and daddy loved
Mommy and daddy made love, I guess without a glove
Birth
My birth
I was born to Charles Akinnuoye and Bunmi Akinnuoye in Nigeria, Africa
I don’t remember much, I was a new born.
Innocent as could be
goo goo gaga was my favorite language.
Life was great
Not a care in the world
Loved and admired to the point where you could label it spoiled.
Innocence. That’s what this year brought. The birth of innocence.

1995-1996:

4 long and adventurous years later
This is where my memory kicks in
This is where I learned good from bad
This is where I learned the difference between HAPPINESS and SADDNESS
Nigeria:
The cause of the constant sweat dripping down my forehead and drenching the back of my shirts
A place that had no traffic lights with cars beeping and running.
Even with the constant moving, street sellers, and 40 million bicycles moving back and forward I still wandered the streets, never in fear
Never had a person breathing down my neck, nagging about a specific time to enter the house
Never imagining the worst
Never worrying about whose watching, who’s planning to kidnap me, or who has harmful intentions.
Everyone knew everyone; all the mothers were my mother
All my mothers spoiled me,
All my mothers disciplined me
The mothers were husky, full in figure, love shined in their eyes when happy, rage flamed out when angry.
I never wanted to be the cause of their anger
Lose-Lose situation
My biological mother was thin compared to my other “mothers”,
My mother never thought twice when it came to my education and happiness
My mother made sure I knew how special I was, sometimes too much
My mother joked that “I would cry whenever a stranger or anyone besides my dad tired to carry me”
My mother joked about it, but then said “it became a serious problem when you started daycare”
My mother soon got tired of Nigeria and wanted to come to the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.
My mother used the power of persuasion, which I gratefully inherited to convince my beloved & loving father to let us all move to America, and start again.
My mother got her way, no surprise.

I miss being able to walk around town without fear. I miss being able to stop at random strangers and ask what they were doing. I miss never having a trouble in the world. I miss being daddy and mommy’s little princess. I miss frolicking around in shorts and shirts fanning myself. I miss being able to say “no I will just wait for my daddy.” I miss the sun, I miss the lack of snow, I miss being at peace in my continent of Africa. I miss Him. I wonder is mommy ever got jealous of how much I loved daddy.
Maybe I will ask her?


2000-2001

Illness
At this time I had already been in the WONDERFUL/DANGEROUS/SCARY/EXCITING United States 4-5 years at this time
Everything was gravy, happiest child in the world
No forget that, the Universe
To my mothers glee:
More and more family came to the states
Some I was excited for, some I wanted to ship back to Nigeria myself
I guess I didn’t really have a choice in the matter
This was a problem I soon realized I had
I wanted to power to fix everything and everyone
This was apower I soon realized I did not have
I Celebrated my 9th and 10th b-day
Only good thing about a SUPPER huge family was SUPPER huge list of toys
Daddy made sure I ALWAYS got what I wanted
Daddy was the best, I could never stay mad at him for long
Daddy gets ill
He would be okay though, I knew it
The whole family knew it, that’s why we went on a trip
We went on HUGE family trip to Orlando Florida for almost 2 weeks
GREATEST time of my life
Daddy was happy, so I was happy
While there I got my first tomagachi portable electronic pet
I treated just the way my dad and mom treated me
Overbearing, over showering with love
On the way home, I was sad, did not want to leave.
I don’t know, but something did NOT feel right
After returning home, Daddy became ill again
But he would be okay, I knew it
Daddy Died.
Part of me died.
Daddy Died.
I died for a while.
I didn’t cry. I didn’t believe it.
Daddy died….I died.

He always had my best at heart; he would allow me to commit murder. During on eof the days in Florida I accidently dropped the hotel TV on my foot. Daddy lifted it with no problems and such ease. Whenever I ran to him, his jet black eyes stared back. Until one day in the hot Florida sun I realized his jet black eyes, were just really dark brown. As his eyes stared, his arms extended and his knees bent and into his comforting chest I went. He would take me to get my hair don, daycare, school, shopping, church. My daddy would take me anywhere. The only place I really want to be was with him.
I wonder if he knew that?

2005-2006:

13 and 14 years of age
I am a preteen; therefore I knew I was always right
I entered middle school then high school
Don’t remember much
All I remember are science fair projects, and tests, and more science fair projects
Officially a preteen
O yea, I got my first cell phone
This was only after being lost out and my mother could not get a hold of me
She got it out of fear, I was okay with that
That was the start of my high school social life and maybe the only important thing that happened while entering high school
Thought I would be there forever, wanted to escape
I was excited for my phone, well until the bill came.
She forgot to tell everything wasn’t UNLIMITED!
So technically it was not my fault

America, America, America what else is there really to say? Apparently it is the land of opportunities. I guess America did give me the opportunity to get a cell phone, due to my mother’s fear. Moving only made me a bigger Daddy’s girl than I was before. Is that possible when the Dad is dead? When my mother saw the phone bill she almost tore me into pieces. During all her screaming and yelling the only thing I thought was, “I wish my daddy was here, I bet she wouldn’t be all big and bad then.” This is what I usally thought whenever things were not going my way. I AUTOMATICALLY thought “If only my dad was here…”
I wonder if he knows that?
I wonder what my mom would think if she knew that?


2010-2011:

Second semester freshmen
Life is good
Life really just started
………………………………………………………………………………….

Well this year is here.
Not much to say. This year has been good so far. I plan on keeping it this way. Now I am in college without my mom and dad. I can always go home to visit mom, literally whenever I want. Dad on the other hand, might be difficult. I wish there was a bus/car/train/flight or anything to see him. It is just difficult. Difficult in the sense that I know he’s watching over me. Difficult in the sense I still talk to him, I still miss him.
Difficult in the sense that I will always be daddy’s little girl.
Is that possible when daddy is no longer here?